It's 6.24pm and I'm still at the office. No plan to hang out with the friends and that makes me recall some of the recent heartbreaking moments :(
My birthday this year at 19 February had brought many unexpected stories in to my life. Stories that once made me feel very happy but then also made me very sad.
I flew to Surabaya on March to meet my boyfriend and tell him that I'm falling for another guy. He was devastated to hear that, but he let me choose which decision to take.. to leave or to stay. I chose to leave him. I can't be with him while my heart is with someone else. After the break up he tried to get me back, he said it will take long time to get over me as he really cares about me. He said that he wants to change to suit my preference, he wants to make me happy. This had been going on for 7 months until in November he told me that he has found another girl who made him feel whole again. He described to me how does his feelings toward her like. He wants to take care of her always. He doesn't want to be away from her. When he's with her, the only thing he wants to see is her smile. He cries thinking that he cant give the best for her. Both of them know what each other needs before anyone says anything. And when he asked her 'why do u love me?', she couldn't answer. Neither did him when she asked the same thing. It seems it's not that hard to get over me, he is happy with his girl now.
And this is some guys who have come into my life after the break up. First, I met Azeem on February, not long after my birthday. He is very handsome, nice, polite and intelligent. I felt like I have found my One when he said he loves me. However, when he was born 26 years ago, God didn't destine him to be my One. He left on April and now engaged to a beautiful girl. They look very happy and match well together. So she must be the One for him.
Second, I met Ahmed on early September. That was during the Ramadhan month when I started talking to him. He said he want to have a long term relationship and started to plan to get married with me. He said he will come on January09 to propose me and tell my parents about his plan. We tried to find the best solution for both parties but we faced dead end. He wouldn't come with his parents and if that is the case then my parents wouldn't allow me to marry with him. We stopped talking since last week. I don't know whether he has found another potential wife or not, but I think he has.
Third, I met Thomas on early October. He is a christian and still very young. It was nice to hear when he said he is learning Islam. One day he said that he loves me. I didn't reply to that because I think he didn't really conscious when he said that. Not that he was drunk or something, but it is because that was too early to tell 'I love you' words to me. He hasn't known me for long, and we are not in the same religion. I made up my mind that things never gonna work out with him. He accepted that and now is working things out with a girl from a Muslim family. At least he found someone who lives much closer to him.
For those who have come and gone, I wish you all happiness in your life. And if once you remember me, please pray for my happiness as well.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Words From Unexperienced Man
This is an advice from a priest, who has never been married and will not get married, about "Whom Not To Marry". Nice advice though :)
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“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends. Since, as the Hebrew Scriptures say, ‘Iron shapes iron and friend shapes friend,’ what are his friends like? What do your friends and family members think of him? Sometimes, your friends can’t render an impartial judgment because they are envious that you are beating them in the race to the altar. Envy beclouds judgment".
“Does he use money responsibly? Is he stingy? Most marriages that founder do so because of money — she’s thrifty, he’s on his 10th credit card".
“Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, who never makes demands counter to yours. It’s good to have a doormat in the home, but not if it’s your husband".
“Is he overly attached to his mother and her mythical apron strings? When he wants to make a decision, say, about where you should go on your honeymoon, he doesn’t consult you, he consults his mother. (I’ve known cases where the mother accompanies the couple on their honeymoon!)"
“Does he have a sense of humor? That covers a multitude of sins. My mother was once asked how she managed to live harmoniously with three men — my father, brother and me. Her answer, delivered with awesome arrogance, was: ‘You simply operate on the assumption that no man matures after the age of 11.’ My father fell about laughing".
“A therapist friend insists that ‘more marriages are killed by silence than by violence.’ The strong, silent type can be charming but ultimately destructive".
“Don’t marry a problem character thinking you will change him. He’s a heavy drinker, or some other kind of addict, but if he marries a good woman, he’ll settle down. People are the same after marriage as before, only more so".
“Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Kay made a monstrous mistake marrying Michael Corleone! Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours? I remember counseling a pious Catholic woman that it might not be prudent to marry a pious Muslim, whose attitude about women was very different. Love trumped prudence; the annulment process was instigated by her six months later".
“Imagine a religious fundamentalist married to an agnostic. One would have to pray that the fundamentalist doesn’t open the Bible and hit the page in which Abraham is willing to obey God and slit his son’s throat".
“Finally: Does he possess those character traits that add up to a good human being — the willingness to forgive, praise, be courteous? Or is he inclined to be a fibber, to fits of rage, to be a control freak, to be envious of you, to be secretive?
“After I regale a group with this talk, the despairing cry goes up: ‘But you’ve eliminated everyone!’ Life is unfair.”
----------
“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends. Since, as the Hebrew Scriptures say, ‘Iron shapes iron and friend shapes friend,’ what are his friends like? What do your friends and family members think of him? Sometimes, your friends can’t render an impartial judgment because they are envious that you are beating them in the race to the altar. Envy beclouds judgment".
“Does he use money responsibly? Is he stingy? Most marriages that founder do so because of money — she’s thrifty, he’s on his 10th credit card".
“Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, who never makes demands counter to yours. It’s good to have a doormat in the home, but not if it’s your husband".
“Is he overly attached to his mother and her mythical apron strings? When he wants to make a decision, say, about where you should go on your honeymoon, he doesn’t consult you, he consults his mother. (I’ve known cases where the mother accompanies the couple on their honeymoon!)"
“Does he have a sense of humor? That covers a multitude of sins. My mother was once asked how she managed to live harmoniously with three men — my father, brother and me. Her answer, delivered with awesome arrogance, was: ‘You simply operate on the assumption that no man matures after the age of 11.’ My father fell about laughing".
“A therapist friend insists that ‘more marriages are killed by silence than by violence.’ The strong, silent type can be charming but ultimately destructive".
“Don’t marry a problem character thinking you will change him. He’s a heavy drinker, or some other kind of addict, but if he marries a good woman, he’ll settle down. People are the same after marriage as before, only more so".
“Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Kay made a monstrous mistake marrying Michael Corleone! Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours? I remember counseling a pious Catholic woman that it might not be prudent to marry a pious Muslim, whose attitude about women was very different. Love trumped prudence; the annulment process was instigated by her six months later".
“Imagine a religious fundamentalist married to an agnostic. One would have to pray that the fundamentalist doesn’t open the Bible and hit the page in which Abraham is willing to obey God and slit his son’s throat".
“Finally: Does he possess those character traits that add up to a good human being — the willingness to forgive, praise, be courteous? Or is he inclined to be a fibber, to fits of rage, to be a control freak, to be envious of you, to be secretive?
“After I regale a group with this talk, the despairing cry goes up: ‘But you’ve eliminated everyone!’ Life is unfair.”
He Says, "If I Have To Marry Once More, I Will Marry You Again"
One night we went to dinner at the food hall of a Plaza in town. We sat at a table located in the middle of the hall. Around us, there were many people eating as well. Then my eyes caught this elegant beautiful woman who crossed in front of our table. I told my husband, "Did you see her? I think she is very adorable". He looked at the way in which that woman went. He said, "ooh that woman? yes she is adorable". I laughed and then commented on his answer, "I think every man will want to be with her". He looked at me in the eyes and replied, "Not every man my sweetheart, if you give me another chance to choose, I will choose you again to get married with me". Awww he is so sweet, he wouldn't want to choose another woman but me to get married with him :)
That is the second quality that this amazing man posses
-- HE IS FAITHFUL --
That is the second quality that this amazing man posses
-- HE IS FAITHFUL --
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
To My Sunshine, I Love You With All My Heart
A nice story of how love keeps burning between the couple through the years and even after death.
----------
Sophie's face faded into the gray winter light of the sitting room. She dozed in the armchair that Joe had bought for her on their fortieth anniversary. The room was warm and quiet. Outside it was snowing lightly.
A florist's truck turned onto Allen Street. Sophie followed it with her eyes. It was moving slowly. Twice it stopped and started again. Then the driver pulled up in front of Mrs. Mason's house next door and parked.Who would be sending Mrs. Mason flowers? Sophie wondered. Her daughter in Wisconsin? Or her brother? No, her brother was very ill. It was probably her daughter. How nice of her.
Flowers made Sophie think of Joe and, for a moment, she let the aching memory fill her. Tomorrow was the fifteenth. Eight months since his death.
The flower mans was knocking at Mrs. Mason's front door. He carried a long white and green box and a clipboard. No one seemed to be answering. Of course! It was Friday - Mrs. Mason quilted at the church on Friday afternoons. the delivery man looked around, then started toward Sophie's house.
"Yes?" she said, peering around a slightly opened door. "Good afternoon, ma'am," the man said loudly. "Would you take a delivery for your neighbor?"
"Yes," Sophie answered, pulling the door wide open. "Where would you like me to put them?" the man asked politely. "In the kitchen, please. On the table." answered Sophie.
The rich smell of roses engulfed her. She closed her eyes and took slower breaths, imagining yellow roses. Joe had always chosen yellow. "To my sunshine," he would say, presenting the extravagant bouquet. He would laugh delightedly, kiss her on the forehead, then take her hands in his and sing to her "You Are My Sunshine."
She dragged a stepstool across the kitchen floor and lifted a white porcelain vase from the top corner cabinet. Using a drinking glass, she filled the vase with water, then tenderly arranged the roses and greens, and carried them into the sitting room.
She was smiling as she reached the middle of the room. She turned slightly and began to dip and twirl in small slow circles. She stepped lightly, gracefully, around the sitting room, into the kitchen, down the hall, back again. She danced till her knees grew weak, and then she dropped into the armchair and slept.
At a quarter past six, Sophie awoke with a start. Someone was knocking on the back door this time. It was Mrs. Mason.
"Hello, Sophie," Mrs. Mason said. "How are you?" Sophie was only half-listening. She had remembered the roses suddenly and was turning hot with shame. The empty flower box was behind her on the kitchen table. What would she say to Mrs. Mason?
Mrs. Mason chattered "I don't know how much longer I can keep paying the bills. If only Alfred, God bless him, had been as careful with money as your Joseph. Joseph! Oh, good heavens! I almost forgot about the roses."
Sophie's cheeks burned. She began to stammer an apology, stepping aside to reveal the empty box.
"Oh, good," Mrs. Mason interrupted. "You put the roses in water. Then you saw the card. I hope it didn't startle your to see Joseph's handwriting. Joseph had asked me to bring you the roses the first year, so I could explain for him. He didn't want to alarm you. His 'Rose Trust,' I think he called it. He arranged it with the florist last Apirl. Such a good man, your Joseph..."
But Sophie had stopped listening. Her heart was pounding as she picked up the small white envelope she had missed earlier. It had been lying beside the flower box all this time. With trembling hands, she removed the card.
"To my sunshine," it said. "I love you with all my heart. Try to be happy when you think of me. Love, Joe."
----------
Sophie's face faded into the gray winter light of the sitting room. She dozed in the armchair that Joe had bought for her on their fortieth anniversary. The room was warm and quiet. Outside it was snowing lightly.
A florist's truck turned onto Allen Street. Sophie followed it with her eyes. It was moving slowly. Twice it stopped and started again. Then the driver pulled up in front of Mrs. Mason's house next door and parked.Who would be sending Mrs. Mason flowers? Sophie wondered. Her daughter in Wisconsin? Or her brother? No, her brother was very ill. It was probably her daughter. How nice of her.
Flowers made Sophie think of Joe and, for a moment, she let the aching memory fill her. Tomorrow was the fifteenth. Eight months since his death.
The flower mans was knocking at Mrs. Mason's front door. He carried a long white and green box and a clipboard. No one seemed to be answering. Of course! It was Friday - Mrs. Mason quilted at the church on Friday afternoons. the delivery man looked around, then started toward Sophie's house.
"Yes?" she said, peering around a slightly opened door. "Good afternoon, ma'am," the man said loudly. "Would you take a delivery for your neighbor?"
"Yes," Sophie answered, pulling the door wide open. "Where would you like me to put them?" the man asked politely. "In the kitchen, please. On the table." answered Sophie.
The rich smell of roses engulfed her. She closed her eyes and took slower breaths, imagining yellow roses. Joe had always chosen yellow. "To my sunshine," he would say, presenting the extravagant bouquet. He would laugh delightedly, kiss her on the forehead, then take her hands in his and sing to her "You Are My Sunshine."
She dragged a stepstool across the kitchen floor and lifted a white porcelain vase from the top corner cabinet. Using a drinking glass, she filled the vase with water, then tenderly arranged the roses and greens, and carried them into the sitting room.
She was smiling as she reached the middle of the room. She turned slightly and began to dip and twirl in small slow circles. She stepped lightly, gracefully, around the sitting room, into the kitchen, down the hall, back again. She danced till her knees grew weak, and then she dropped into the armchair and slept.
At a quarter past six, Sophie awoke with a start. Someone was knocking on the back door this time. It was Mrs. Mason.
"Hello, Sophie," Mrs. Mason said. "How are you?" Sophie was only half-listening. She had remembered the roses suddenly and was turning hot with shame. The empty flower box was behind her on the kitchen table. What would she say to Mrs. Mason?
Mrs. Mason chattered "I don't know how much longer I can keep paying the bills. If only Alfred, God bless him, had been as careful with money as your Joseph. Joseph! Oh, good heavens! I almost forgot about the roses."
Sophie's cheeks burned. She began to stammer an apology, stepping aside to reveal the empty box.
"Oh, good," Mrs. Mason interrupted. "You put the roses in water. Then you saw the card. I hope it didn't startle your to see Joseph's handwriting. Joseph had asked me to bring you the roses the first year, so I could explain for him. He didn't want to alarm you. His 'Rose Trust,' I think he called it. He arranged it with the florist last Apirl. Such a good man, your Joseph..."
But Sophie had stopped listening. Her heart was pounding as she picked up the small white envelope she had missed earlier. It had been lying beside the flower box all this time. With trembling hands, she removed the card.
"To my sunshine," it said. "I love you with all my heart. Try to be happy when you think of me. Love, Joe."
Lack Of Communication
There was this girl asking to Jeff Mac, a manslator, "Hi Jeff, my relationship is in trouble..".
Jeff answered, "That's it, huh? I think the problem in your relationship is called the lack of communication. You need to open up a lil bit"
I laughed a lot reading that lines :P. It is so funny that she didn't describe anything about the trouble she is facing in the relationship. What did she expect Jeff to answer?. Anyway, Jeff is a book writer and he has a website where he translates men behavior which confuses women. That's why he is called a Manslator. Thanks Jeff for your Manslation!!
Another thing about 'Lack Of Communication', sometime I found it difficult to express what I want out of a relationship, what I need from him because of fear that I might get rejected by him. Somehow I feel that he might turn down my suggestions, ignore my needs despite him knowing that they are important to me. How to let him know about it?
Jeff answered, "That's it, huh? I think the problem in your relationship is called the lack of communication. You need to open up a lil bit"
I laughed a lot reading that lines :P. It is so funny that she didn't describe anything about the trouble she is facing in the relationship. What did she expect Jeff to answer?. Anyway, Jeff is a book writer and he has a website where he translates men behavior which confuses women. That's why he is called a Manslator. Thanks Jeff for your Manslation!!
Another thing about 'Lack Of Communication', sometime I found it difficult to express what I want out of a relationship, what I need from him because of fear that I might get rejected by him. Somehow I feel that he might turn down my suggestions, ignore my needs despite him knowing that they are important to me. How to let him know about it?
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