Would He Be The One For Me?

I want him to be the one for me, but does he want it too?

I met him on June, he filled my days with laughters and healed my broken heart after Azeem left. He would come to talk to me everyday and I couldnt wait those time when he showed up. I smiled, I felt safe, I felt content in his presence. He is funny, smart, caring, he shared many of my views, and he loves God as much as I do.

Things were wonderful until oneday he fell for a woman. He told me that he has been thinking about this woman a lot, not knowing what to do. Despite my broken hearted, I encouraged him to pursue her. Unfortunately for him things didnt go well, she refused him. I was sad when he said 'I kept my phone close to me for three consecutive days, hoping to hear from her'. So much I wanted to tell him, 'Didnt you know that I have been waiting for you everyday?'

I never got him out of my heart although I knew he had chose another woman. I tried to not to depend on him too much, I started to talk to some other men. It wasn't a great experience for me because I couldn't stop thinking about him. Those were camouflages so that I wouldn't reach out to him when I was lonely, when he wasnt there. So much I wanted to tell him 'I need you!'

From everyday, it became twice a week, then once in two weeks. He seems to try to fade away from my sight. I didnt get much chance to talk to him anymore but still everyday I waited for him to come. It hurts knowing that he's drifting away from me. So much I wanted to tell him 'please stay'.

Fragile

Those Who Has Come And Gone

It's 6.24pm and I'm still at the office. No plan to hang out with the friends and that makes me recall some of the recent heartbreaking moments :(
My birthday this year at 19 February had brought many unexpected stories in to my life. Stories that once made me feel very happy but then also made me very sad.

I flew to Surabaya on March to meet my boyfriend and tell him that I'm falling for another guy. He was devastated to hear that, but he let me choose which decision to take.. to leave or to stay. I chose to leave him. I can't be with him while my heart is with someone else. After the break up he tried to get me back, he said it will take long time to get over me as he really cares about me. He said that he wants to change to suit my preference, he wants to make me happy. This had been going on for 7 months until in November he told me that he has found another girl who made him feel whole again. He described to me how does his feelings toward her like. He wants to take care of her always. He doesn't want to be away from her. When he's with her, the only thing he wants to see is her smile. He cries thinking that he cant give the best for her. Both of them know what each other needs before anyone says anything. And when he asked her 'why do u love me?', she couldn't answer. Neither did him when she asked the same thing. It seems it's not that hard to get over me, he is happy with his girl now.

And this is some guys who have come into my life after the break up. First, I met Azeem on February, not long after my birthday. He is very handsome, nice, polite and intelligent. I felt like I have found my One when he said he loves me. However, when he was born 26 years ago, God didn't destine him to be my One. He left on April and now engaged to a beautiful girl. They look very happy and match well together. So she must be the One for him.

Second, I met Ahmed on early September. That was during the Ramadhan month when I started talking to him. He said he want to have a long term relationship and started to plan to get married with me. He said he will come on January09 to propose me and tell my parents about his plan. We tried to find the best solution for both parties but we faced dead end. He wouldn't come with his parents and if that is the case then my parents wouldn't allow me to marry with him. We stopped talking since last week. I don't know whether he has found another potential wife or not, but I think he has.

Third, I met Thomas on early October. He is a christian and still very young. It was nice to hear when he said he is learning Islam. One day he said that he loves me. I didn't reply to that because I think he didn't really conscious when he said that. Not that he was drunk or something, but it is because that was too early to tell 'I love you' words to me. He hasn't known me for long, and we are not in the same religion. I made up my mind that things never gonna work out with him. He accepted that and now is working things out with a girl from a Muslim family. At least he found someone who lives much closer to him.

For those who have come and gone, I wish you all happiness in your life. And if once you remember me, please pray for my happiness as well.

Who Is He?

Words From Unexperienced Man

This is an advice from a priest, who has never been married and will not get married, about "Whom Not To Marry". Nice advice though :)
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“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends. Since, as the Hebrew Scriptures say, ‘Iron shapes iron and friend shapes friend,’ what are his friends like? What do your friends and family members think of him? Sometimes, your friends can’t render an impartial judgment because they are envious that you are beating them in the race to the altar. Envy beclouds judgment".

“Does he use money responsibly? Is he stingy? Most marriages that founder do so because of money — she’s thrifty, he’s on his 10th credit card".

“Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, who never makes demands counter to yours. It’s good to have a doormat in the home, but not if it’s your husband".

“Is he overly attached to his mother and her mythical apron strings? When he wants to make a decision, say, about where you should go on your honeymoon, he doesn’t consult you, he consults his mother. (I’ve known cases where the mother accompanies the couple on their honeymoon!)"

“Does he have a sense of humor? That covers a multitude of sins. My mother was once asked how she managed to live harmoniously with three men — my father, brother and me. Her answer, delivered with awesome arrogance, was: ‘You simply operate on the assumption that no man matures after the age of 11.’ My father fell about laughing".

“A therapist friend insists that ‘more marriages are killed by silence than by violence.’ The strong, silent type can be charming but ultimately destructive".

“Don’t marry a problem character thinking you will change him. He’s a heavy drinker, or some other kind of addict, but if he marries a good woman, he’ll settle down. People are the same after marriage as before, only more so".

“Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Kay made a monstrous mistake marrying Michael Corleone! Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours? I remember counseling a pious Catholic woman that it might not be prudent to marry a pious Muslim, whose attitude about women was very different. Love trumped prudence; the annulment process was instigated by her six months later".

“Imagine a religious fundamentalist married to an agnostic. One would have to pray that the fundamentalist doesn’t open the Bible and hit the page in which Abraham is willing to obey God and slit his son’s throat".

“Finally: Does he possess those character traits that add up to a good human being — the willingness to forgive, praise, be courteous? Or is he inclined to be a fibber, to fits of rage, to be a control freak, to be envious of you, to be secretive?

“After I regale a group with this talk, the despairing cry goes up: ‘But you’ve eliminated everyone!’ Life is unfair.”

He Says, "If I Have To Marry Once More, I Will Marry You Again"

One night we went to dinner at the food hall of a Plaza in town. We sat at a table located in the middle of the hall. Around us, there were many people eating as well. Then my eyes caught this elegant beautiful woman who crossed in front of our table. I told my husband, "Did you see her? I think she is very adorable". He looked at the way in which that woman went. He said, "ooh that woman? yes she is adorable". I laughed and then commented on his answer, "I think every man will want to be with her". He looked at me in the eyes and replied, "Not every man my sweetheart, if you give me another chance to choose, I will choose you again to get married with me". Awww he is so sweet, he wouldn't want to choose another woman but me to get married with him :)

That is the second quality that this amazing man posses
-- HE IS FAITHFUL --

Under One Umbrella In The Rain