Monday, February 16, 2009

How Can I Move On When I'm Still In Love With You?

I went singing with my friends this evening and just came back with a mixed emotions. We sang some songs, have fun, and laughed untill it came to the song of Linkin Park tittled In The End... it was his song. I red through the lyrics and somehow I felt sad, it felt like I understand how painful those times were for him.

I kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

It got so far
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end

I felt empty suddenly... couldn't deny that I miss him so much. I'm wondering what he is doing now, how he is, and if he misses me. I feel like reaching out to him, hold him near and never let go.
Tell me, will I push you away by trying to get close to you?
I'm afraid your answer will be yes, so here I am writing all of these. Nothing much I can do to get close to you without pushing you away.
I miss you with all my heart... and it is because I am in love with you.
If that sounds weird to you, just ignore it. Take it as it is, dont ask why, dont ask how... it's just I am still in love with you.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

His Screen Name

Last Thursday I saw his screen name online at google talk, I think I stopped breathing for a while in my disbelief that he came online. I felt like saying hi to him but I held back. He might didn't come online for me, maybe he has another friend who uses gtalk.... and he came to talk with his friend.
I think none of my guess was right, he went offline after few mins.
I was relieved somehow, maybe because I wouldn't have to think about what to say to him if at all he said hello.
I miss him so much though....