Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Man Who Can Not Be Moved

Wishing for 'the person I love' to do this for me... but the reality is  'the person who loves me' who will do this for me


Going back to the corner where I first saw you,

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not... broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I've been in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't sit here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Whos waiting on a girl...
There on no hole in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...

Maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
[Repeat in backgroung]

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Love Actually

... aww it was so touching, I have just finished watching "Love Actually" and this movie was full of heart warming scenes. Let me write down some of the parts that I like about this movie:

1. He is a very important person, a prime minister. And she is just an ordinary woman. But, she stole his heart since the very first time just because she is simple. 

2. He was on a wedding of his beloved one. But he wasn't the man who stood as the groom... it was his bestfriend who was that lucky guy. He recorded every moment of that wedding, every angle of her face, every move she made, every word she said.

3. She eventually found out that he loves her all this time after seeing the tape. She was stunned.

4. He didn't speak her language, but he eventually learned the language because he wants to tell her so much that he loves her.

5. They are apart, ten thousand miles away. No calls, no news. But tonight he made up his mind that he will find her. He took the last flight and ran to her.

Saturday Morning

Good morning! how was your sleep last night? I hope you slept well and dreamed something nice :) Unfortunately I still couldn't sleep enough... yeah those mosquitos really bugged me. I killed many of them, see their dead bodies on my floor? hehehe my blood is not for free, it takes your life to enjoy it. I dreamed something about sports, I played ping-pong, swim, and run but I was a loser... Didn't do them right even in a dream huhuhu.

Did you dream about me last night? No? hehehe no problem, that's normal because you don't even know me that much. But if you did dream about me, then I can tell you that you're on the way to fall in love with me.. for sure. Hahaha what?? do you want to say something? Do you think I'm a nut girl for writing things like this as if I'm talking to someone? Oh well, let it be. It's 8am here and am still on my bed, don't feel like going anywhere :P The weather is good outside, and my small garden here outside my room is looking fine too. I have some plants that grow flowers, there are yellow, pink, dark pink, and red flowers. But I don't have roses.... Hmm one day my husband will make a garden of roses for me hahahaha.

I just got a call from my ex boyfriend, he told me that one of his rabbit died and guess what was the name of that rabbit... DOKO! he used to call me doko dolog, and that's why he named his two rabbits with Doko and Dolog hehehe. Allright, I got to go... see you soon :)

Friday, July 18, 2008

For You

To the World

You may be One Person,

But to One Person,

You may be the World!


Just like most women... I dream about a beautiful wedding of mine. When I decided to know a man better, it means that since the first place I have put a vision of having him standing beside me on my wedding. Below is a wedding poem by Jalaludin Rumi, a great sufi who was in love with God. I think what he means by "wedding" here is the death, because our death is a wedding with the eternity... a union with God. But let me borrow his beautiful words for just a simple wedding for two human souls.


May these vows and this marriage be blessed.
May it be sweet milk,
this marriage, like wine and halvah.
May this marriage offer fruit and shade
like the date palm.
May this marriage be full of laughter,
our every day a day in paradise.
May this marriage be a sign of compassion,
a seal of happiness here and hereafter.
May this marriage have a fair face and a good name,
an omen as welcome
as the moon in a clear blue sky.
I am out of words to describe
how spirit mingles in this marriage

Thursday, July 17, 2008

How Do I Tell You?

How do I tell you to make you understand that I miss you?
How do I tell you to make you understand that I love you?

Will your heart be open to my heart?

My love is as deep as the ocean
As high as the sky above... for you

My love is as huge as the world
As broad as the universe... for you

How do I tell you to make you understand that I miss you forever?
How do I tell you to make you understand that I love you forever?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Good Night

What a tiring day... Got no order at all at work :( and I was waiting for you to call me, but you didn't call. Where are you? I think I should sleep now and maybe I will see you again in my dream... just like yesterday.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Do You See Me?

I haven't told you anything about this picture right? So, were you wondering how will you find me there? hehehe actually you will not find me in the picture. It is just another view that I like to see... the peace, silence, and also the hope of a new day starts with sun rises. But, I will stand in the right corner of this picture, staring at it. Thus, you should say "I find you standing right beside me and staring at the picture together"

Bring Him Closer By Not Doing Anything

This is from Rori Raye - An Expert of Relationship
I think she has a new perspective about how to connect with men. Ooh are you wondering how I got this stuff? hehehe it seems the expert knows who to find.

We believe we have to find a man, approach him, get him talking, interest him, get him to call, make him feel good, show him we're independent by meeting him halfway about everything - where we go on dates, making plans, paying, scheduling, driving - be understanding, make time for him, tell him what we want and pretty much keep things going by DOING something.

At some point in the "relationship," we begin to focus in on him in the way we've been taught. And no matter how self-sufficient and smart and strong we think we are - we turn into "girlfriends" and HOPE that the "relationship" will go where we want it to go. And does this work with a man? No. In fact - it pushes him away!

And this place we find ourselves in - of believing we have to DO something to find, get, and keep the man of our dreams - this is just what we see all around us, and what we've likely done all our lives. So - how to stop DOING?

This shift from Doing to just BEING is the difference between Masculine Energy - which is all
about doing and thinking and acting, and Feminine Energy - which is all about being and feeling and experiencing. Just imagine - if what you want is a man who treats you well, cares for you, and ACTS LIKE A MASCULINE MAN - then what will you get if you initiate, walk up to, Lean Forward, row the rowboat, chat up, chase, call and DO FOR him? What you'll get is: Nothing.

He won't feel a connection with you, because the last thing a Masculine Energy Man wants for a
romantic relationship is another Masculine Energy person. Being with a Masculine Energy woman feels to him like being with a man, a buddy, a friend - dressed up as a lovely woman.

And the reason this is so CHALLENGING for all of us in this moment in history is that we women are just now coming into our own, just now learning how to USE our Masculine Energy to get ahead in our lives and work. We women now want to make a DIFFERENCE in the world, and we need to use our Masculine "Doing" Energy to get this done.

So how do we shift from "Doing" out in the world, in our work and activities - to "Being" with our man? I call this Shifting Hats, and Yes - you can do it!

It's all about feeling stronger on the inside, lifting your self-esteem, getting a really positive attitude about the possibilities out there for you - and then opening up in a soft and warm and NOT DOING way to a man on the outside.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Got Net Line


I will write more here on weekend because now I have my own net line at home :))) But for now, I will watch some videos on youtube

Friday, July 11, 2008


There has been a lot of things going on in my life in the past two years. I needed to move to this city and started my first job. It was very hard in the beginning because I have to adapt to the new circumstances in this city as well as in the workplace. My boss was just a Bad boss to me, he never brought peace whenever he's around. We were all so tensed, depressed, stressed under his management. It went on for a year until he resigned and moved to other company. I can tell you that I was so glad about his moving out :)))

That one year was hard at workplace but I felt secure in my love life because I had my boyfriend (call him A) who always be by my side. Then, the second year came... I fell in love with someone else (call him B) and decided to leave my boyfriend. This new guy was never be the right person for me and what happened between me and him was just a dream that turned into a nightmare. I was really in love with him that I thought I have found the love of my life. Honestly, I tell you that I wanted to settle with him. But, he's not really into me. He didn't call me when he said he would. He didn't talk about the future of our relationship. He didn't want to know how I feel. He just didn't care at all. My heart broke and my dreams shattered.

It was a very virtual love story. So I made up my mind that nothing will lead to a reality. It started virtually and it has to end virtually too. He'll just blow away from my mind after some time, right? So this second year was ended with a sad story. I decided to leave him and rebuild my dreams.

Few months since I'm single. This A keeps calling me and tells me that he loves me so much. He asks me to give him another chance to get back with me again. I was recalling all the moments I had with A... those 4.5 years of togetherness. I remembered that we talked about getting married, I told him that I want to get married before my age is 25. He replied, "I think we should wait for some more time, I'm just 24 years old and I think I'm too young to get married. Besides, I need to have enough money first to make sure that I can handle all the expenses regarding this marriage". What do you see from his statement?

I made up my mind that he got his chance and he missed it. He didn't propose me when I expected that from him. So I guess he wasn't really into me.

Someone who is really into me will eventually find me.... will you?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I'm Sad

hiks hikssss
I'm so sad today... I need a bandage to cover this bleeding heart which you cut open. I don't understand why you keep calling me but at the same time you turn me down by waving a red flag telling me that I'm too good for you (what a smart excuse). If Greg reads this, he will say: "he's just not into you".
I know that.... I can see that you are not into me, but you're just beautiful that I can't easily let you go. Maybe the excuse I'm making right now is that this situation is better than nothing. I like your company and I just don't want to talk about "relationship" issue with you because I'm afraid that you will walk away. But I know too, that one day you will really walk away. Please let me hang on until that day comes.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Great Movies

Here are some movies I like a lot... see if you like them too and see how compatible you are with me.
  • Million Dollar Baby - hmm dunno the star
  • Fight Club - Brad Pitt
  • Forest Gump - Tom Hanks
  • Artificial Intelligence - dunno too
  • Cast Away - Tom Hanks
  • Interview With The Vampire - Brad Pitt
  • Beautiful Mind - Tom Hanks
  • The Notebook - dunno again hehe
  • A Lot Like Love - Ashton Kutcher
  • Autumn In New York - Richard Gere
  • Sabrina - I dunno!!
  • Keith - Sorry :(
  • You've Got Mail - Tom Hanks
  • Titanic - Leonardo Dicaprio
  • Pretty Woman - Richard Gere
  • Unfaithful - Richard Gere
  • The Bodyguard From Beijing - Jet Li
  • House Of Flying Dagger - Takeshi Kaneshiro
  • City Of Angel - Nicolas Cage
  • Edward Scissor Hands - Johny Depp
  • Lake House - Keanu Reeves
  • Legends Of The Fall - Brad Pitt
  • Far and Away - Leonardo Dicaprio
  • Armageddon - Bruce Willis
  • Gladiator - Russel Crowe
  • Braveheart - Mel Gibson
  • Troy - Brad Pitt
  • 300 - dunnoooo
  • The Last Samurai - Tom Cruise
  • Big - Tom Hanks
  • Finding Nemo - fishes??
Hmm I might add up some tittles, will watch Saving Private Ryan, Rudy, and E.T

Friday, July 4, 2008


Poppy flowers. They can be extracted to a form of an addictive drug. They live in prairie, free and wild... yet so beautiful.
Love is like poppy flower to me. It can be found anywhere when your spirit is free and your logic goes wild in dreams... then finally you realize how beautiful is the feelings of falling in love, that it makes you addicted.

If You're Not The One

This song by Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not The One. I will wait for someone who will sing it to me

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And know I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Old Emails

I spent today reading all the old emails and chat logs that I had with Azeem :(
It was exhausting, consumed my feelings... I felt happy for a second when I read one email in which everything was sweet. But then I felt sad when I turned to another email in which we decide to end the relationship.... huufff it's still hard to bear. I just can't believe that I let him slipped away.

What Your Zodiac Says about Cheating

The first one is the most loyal!!

T A U R U S (21 April - 20 May)
#1: Is the most loyal of all zodiac type and the most dependable one. Taurus can be considered as a boring personality to some other zodiacs in term of relationship, because they tend to be too observed and stubborn

L E O (23 July - 22 August)
#2: Their loyalty stems deep from love which make them very sincere and willing to sacrifice many things for their partner. However, sometimes their ego makes them lose their loved one. Leo is a type who hardly forget someone who once entered their life. To the other zodiacs, Leo is considered as a charming one.

V I RG O (23 August - 22 September)
#3: Very careful in choosing their mates. Finding one is already devastating, so Virgo will not even think to cheat. They like to criticizes and fussy, this shows how much they care about their partner. To some other zodiacs, Virgo is considered to be too perfectionist that it could hurt others.

C A P R I C O R N (23 Desember - 20 January)
#4: Their planning on everything has consumed their time. Capricorn tends to think too much about their plans. For some other zodiacs, Capricorn seems to put a boundary in relationship with others. Cheating is just an intermezzo when they are bored.

A Q U A R I U S (21 January - 19 February)
#5: Doesn't like to cheat, but avoid commitment that involve deep emotional interaction. Aquarius tends to think and act distinctively. To the other zodiacs, they are considered to be too radical. If they finally cheating, it is their radical approach to end a relationship with their partner who couldn't follow their way of thinking.

L I B R A (23 September - 22 October)
#6: The hardest one to make a choice. Experiencing difficulties in expressing their selves. They often think in two ways for every aspect, thus Libra considered as secretive and 'not easy to know' type.

G E M I N I (21 May - 20 June)
#7: Need to be pampered to keep them away from cheating. Always want to be pampered and cared by their loved one. To some other zodiacs, Gemini is the type who constantly change

S A G I T A R I U S (23 November - 22 December)
#8: Easily tempted to cheat. Their expansive basic trait leads them to try new things as well as in relationship. To some other zodiacs, Sagitarius is considered as shiny and 'full of life vitality' type

A R I E S (21 Maret - 20 April)
#9: Need to be cautiously watched so that their passion doesn't go too much. Enthusiasm makes their desire burns to take an adventure in every thing. To some other zodiacs, Aries is considered as a warm type in term of relationship

C A N C E R (21 June - 22 July)
#10: The home queen, but once they go out they love to show their charm. Cancer always want to take care of their partner. Highly sensitive, they are very careful to not to hurt or get hurt. Cancer is considered as a very reserved type, makes certain other zodiacs impatient because it takes time to develop relationship with them.

S C O R P I O (23 October - 22 November)
#11: Will not let the temptation passes just like that. To them, temptation is another form of attention and rarely ignored by them. Scorpio is popular as an excellent lover. To some other zodiacs, they are considered as expressive lover.

P I S C E S (20 February - 20 March)
#12: The cheater who proclaim their selves as loyal lover. Pisces is very romantic in a way that cheating can be a wonderful experience in their life.

Should I be a Pisces or Aquarius? 19th Feb here is Aquarius but I feel more compelled to Pisces.... hehehe I'm not that bad know, I think I can be very loyal to the man I love the most.