Friday, June 19, 2009

Letting Go Of Love

This is from the movie 'The Holiday'
Although it is hurting me to see him leaving, I have to live my life like I should and I have to be strong... have faith that eventually one day I will be in my happy ever after with or without him.

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door.

And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Winner Takes It All

I watched Mamma Mia the movie this evening, they sang many songs but this one really hit me on the heart. I was thinking that I'm the loser and she is the winner. Beside the victory is where she is standing now. How should I let her takes him away?

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Aamer Is Getting Married

Yesterday he finally told me the reason why he doesn't want to continue any relationship with me. I felt dumped.

Aamer: salam
hey Frita
you there

Frita: waalaikumsalam
i got many orders today

Aamer: great

Frita: how r u?

Aamer: i am okay
not bad

Frita: nice to know

Aamer: how about you

Frita: im good today
very happy that i have a great day at work :)
u know, not so many time my clients give big orders

Aamer: good for you
they went there, and i will get marry soon

Frita: ooh god
r u happy with it?

Aamer: i am happy for them
all of them
sacrifice is the second name of life
i just wish they are doing whats good for me
you take care please
i think there should be the real end of our relationship

Frita: i see
im sure u r not going to feel bad about this marriage
i can see u love her too
it's ok
we're just not meant to be together
although i cant deny that it hurts me so much
but Allah has His own fate for me
somehow someday i will be there and be happy

Aamer: i wish you be back very very soon, soon as just the next minute
i got to go now

Frita: ok

Aamer: goodbye