Wednesday, November 25, 2009

12 Signs That He's A Great Guy

___ He Cares About Your Needs
Your happiness and well-being are major priorities to him
and he actively works to contribute to them.
(Beware of men whose three favorite words are "Me, me, and
Me". While self-absorbed men can be attractive at first,
exuding charm and confidence, that act will wear thin
faster than he can say, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's
the hottest dude of all?" The truth about narcissists is
they are so obsessed with loving themselves that they are
incapable of truly loving another person. Don't take a
backseat to someone else's rabid ego!)

___ He Treats You Well
He treats you with respect and consideration at all times.
Here's a quick way to gauge this: How do you feel when
you're around him - happy, relaxed, safe? If he makes you
feel uneasy, insecure, controlled, or unsafe, he is
definitely not a GREAT guy.

___ He Treats Others Well
He's friendly with his doorman. He's he kind to waitresses
and generous with tips. If he's pleasant with other people
it's a good sign that he's not just putting on an act for

___ He's in a Balanced Emotional State
In a word, he's stable (not overly jaded, doesn't have
excessive 'emotional baggage,' rage issues or out-of-
control mood swings).

___ He Has a Healthy Relationship Track Record
What is his dating history like? If he's had a few
semi-serious to serious relationships that he can look
back on as worthwhile experiences (without still holding
onto feelings for his exes or being excessively bitter),
chances are good that he's capable of a healthy
relationship with you.
However, if he was the king of one-night stands or he
hasn't dated much (or at all), these could be red flags.
If you know other women he's dated, what they have to say
about him could provide valuable clues.

___ He's Got a Good Relationship With His Family
If he's close with his family - treats his parents with
respect and is friendly with his siblings, these are all
good signs of a quality man. (HOWEVER....BEWARE OF THE
MAMA'S BOY! A man who hasn't "cut the cord" with his mother
is nothing but trouble...either he'll expect you to wait on
him and make his bed OR you'll spend your life trying to
live up to the perfect image of Mommy...Either way, it's
not good - so get out now and save yourself for a man who
will make you the #1 woman in his life!)

___ He's Mature
He demonstrates maturity on an intellectual and emotional
level. He follows through on his responsibilities. (This is
not the kind of guy who will blow off a commitment to stay
home and play Xbox!) He is clearly ready to meet the
obligations of an adult relationship.

___ He's Got a Stable Career
He has a good job or is pursuing an education. This
shows responsibility and maturity. (If he is content
not to work and just sponge off other people [especially
his parents] this is a bad sign!)

___ He's Got Passion
He has goals and dreams for his future and is committed
to pursuing them

___ He Has Good Health & Habits
He takes good care of himself (eats well, goes to the
gym, etc.). He does not exhibit any deal-breaker behaviors
(Drug or alcohol abuse, smoking, etc).

___ He's On Your Level Mentally & Emotionally
He can hold his own in a discussion about world events.
He challenges you intellectually. He's capable of having
conversations that are deeper than the weather or where
you want to go for dinner. Remember, intense physical
attraction may come and go, but a man that can keep you
on your toes in everyday conversation is truly a man that
can hold your interest!

___ He Shows Potential for Commitment
When you begin dating someone, you can never really be
sure if he's interested in a serious commitment or a fun
little fling. But you can take a calculated risk. There are
ways to glean clues about his intentions by observing his
current lifestyle. If he's young, has a reputation for being
a "player," or hangs out with single buddies who are into "the
scene," it could be a long while before he's ready to settle
down. If, however, his circle of friends are in serious
relationships/engaged and/or getting married there is a good
chance that he'll be ready for that phase himself soon enough

That was taken from Paige Parker's Dating Dish.
By the way, actually I only want to write "I miss my lion" in this entry, but think of it as too short of a reading for you, I copied that Dating Dish.
Do you think he still read my blog? He said he reads it from time to time, but that was long time ago when we were still in a good communication. Now that we rarely talk to each other, I'm not sure if he still read my blog.

Friday, November 13, 2009

We Live A Different Life

It was raining very hard this evening. I needed to stay long under the rain while I was waiting for my bus to go home from work. The air was cold and the wind blew hard, my umbrella couldn't help much to keep me from getting wet.... then my mind wandered to him.
September 17 wasn't the last time I talked to him. He told me that he went to Rome for a vacation and couldn't reach me. So we talked several times more after that, but our important conversation took place a few days ago.
He came and told me that he should apologize to me for whatever I think he did wrong and for whatever he didn't do to me. He wished me the best, wished that I find my man and have a beautiful life. So this was a better goodbye, right?
Today is his nikah ceremony with her. I'm imagining a party where all of the families come and have a good time. It can't be raining there.
Just a little wishes from me, "I wish you a happy marriage until you grow old together with her"

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Closed Up Poppies

Don't you think that poppies are fragile and soft, yet very beautiful?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Exit Strategy: Vanish Like A Thin Air

When was the last time I had a talk with him? Hmm it was on September 17, 2009.
What was his line? He said, "I love only you". I replied, "really you do?". He assured me, "oh yes, I do".
Then he is just vanished like a thin air, no single word from him since.

What do you think when a guy did such thing? Was he out of his mind when he said that L word? And when he realized what that word really means, he suddenly felt the need to back up? Doesn't it mean that he wasn't in love with her? Big YES!

So this is the guy I was in love with.. foolishly. I couldn't even hate him a bit for dumping me in the first place by getting engaged to another girl. After a short period of silence between us (means no talking, no contact), he came back and told me that he doesn't love his fiance. He said that he doesn't want to marry her.

Once again I felt that I got my love back. He kept saying that no matter what the condition he is in now, the one he loves is me and only me. However, I am aware that something has changed. He is not as devoted as he was before, he spent less time with me... most of the time it was me who had to beg him to spend sometime to talk to me. How embarassing, I can't believe I did that.

I was so naive that I believed he would kept his word. He said "I will not marry her". He planned a runaway to another country so that he wouldn't marry his fiance. He booked the ticket, and asked me to come with him but he wouldn't pick me up here. He insisted that I come alone and he will meet me there. I couldn't think of it as the right thing to do, why he wouldn't come to pick me if he really needs me to be with him? So I told him that I will not come unless he picks me up.

It was when I asked him, "How can I believe that you will not leave me this time?". I remember he said that this time he will not do that again to me and will not make me hurt. Well here I am now, once again left broken hearted.

Finally, all I can do is keep my chin up and be strong to face this. There will be lonely days when I will miss him, but I should move on. I hope one day there will be an honest enough man who can keep his words to me.

To the one I have loved: "I wish you a happy marriage".... no I lied, "I wish you a hard to endure marriage"

If only you are brave enough to tell me that you should leave me this time, that is a thousand times better than vanishing like this. At least you could say that you are sorry, thus I could forgive you and wish you good things