After sometime surviving from my lonely days which were sucking my happiness one by one, I finally were able to smile again the day he came in to my life.
It wasn't easy to open up my heart once more because it has broken in to pieces before. But he helped me to put those pieces back together. I don't know what it is that he did to me, what he said to me, what he showed me... I only know that he has made me fall in love completely for him. Everyday I can't wait to talk to him, to hear his voice, and to share my dreams with him. When I'm awake, it's him I'm thinking of. When I'm asleep, it's him I saw in my dreams. I guess he is there 24 hours for me.
I was very happy every time he told me how he loves me. He would say that he loves me more than the world itself and more than anything in this world. He told me how he long for the day when he can hold my hands, grow old with me, and still love each other even after having many kids. I never dreamed that reality can be this sweet. Time went by so fast, it was 3 months of beautiful moments I shared with him.
Another chapter began. He is still there 24 hours for me, but not in reality. He is less available for me, made me miss him a lot when he was away. He didn't say 'I love you' as often as he used to. It's getting harder to know where I stand. I even wonder if he still loves me now. I guess I need to face the truth. Maybe these were all just my dreams and now it is almost dawn... I need to wake up. I hope so much that he will be there when I open my eyes and just tell me 'Good morning my love, do you know that I've been waiting for you to wake up just to tell you how much I love you?'
I can't lose you Aamer... please don't let go of me. You're all I ever wanted.
Saturday afternoon, May 30, 2009
Dawn finally came, he woke me up with a goodbye. I can't say much, he just doesn't want me anymore...