12.19 pm and I haven't joined my colleagues for lunch. I prefer to sit here, listening music, and write this down. I sent him an email this morning since I couldn't bear to stay away from him, I don't have any more strength to keep it cool. I miss him a lot.
I hope after he read that email he will come and talk to me like usual. Here I am waiting.
I've acted very silly last week, told him that I don't want to talk to him... so much untrue!! Please don't leave, please talk to me.
Sometime I wonder if this is what he's been waiting for, the moment that will get him out of my life. There I made a way out for him by saying that I don't want to talk to him. Oh my God it hurts me so much...
"Please show me that this is not what u want, talk to me. Here I am waiting"
8.58pm I'm at home. He didn't show up to talk to me but he replied to my email. I think I should be content with that.
"I'll try my best to not to reach out to u again..."