My mind wandered to 28 June 2009, I got an email from him in which he wrote this one line that opened my heart "all things decided in heaven but happens on earth, that is the law of God".
We became good friends fast. We talked everyday, shared stories, and sometime he would call me and I got the chance to listen to his voice which I liked a lot. He sent me flower, doll, and some gifts to show that he cares. It didn't take much effort to get along with him, it seemed like we just understand each other and accept one another for who we are. He even didn't mind seeing me early in the morning when I just woke up with sleepy messy face, he said "it doesn't matter, let me see u". We shared a lot of things in common for example we both like slow romantic songs, we both believe in destiny, we both stubborn in the way that we don't care what people say about our relationship. They can say this was just for fun, they can say this was irrational, and they can say we better wake up and find someone real. However, we both ignored them. He would assure me that we can make it and he will be with me always.
Days went by and it was on the sixth month that he said he would come to visit me so that we can meet in person. Things didn't go well, he couldn't get his visa on time. You would have guessed what they said when he didn't come... yes they said "See what I told you, don't expect much from him. Better you find someone near". I shrugged it although I did feel sad. Then I waited another six months while he tried to get his visa again. This time our effort paid off, he got the visa with expiry date on October 2010. We both were so happy thinking that finally we will be able to see each other in person. He told me he wanted to go to his hometown before visiting me. I never thought that things could go wrong this time.
July 2010 passed by, then August, and September followed... still he didn't book his ticket to Jakarta. He would come up with his excuses, and the last one was that his father got sick which I think is true. But for me that is still an excuse. Why did he wait until the last days? Why didn't he come straight after he got his visa? I can get myself frustrated if I think about it, but the fact that he decided to not come can't be changed. I was devastated, this time he really blew away his last chance. I should come out and tell them all that they win and I lose.
I wasted another one year on a failed story... but a saying goes "every relationship is destined to be over except the one that isn't". I just need one that works out. So here I am closing another chapter of my love life, mending my heart for the next chapter. Wishing and hoping that the next story will be the one that works out.