This morning I texted him, asking how he was doing. Then I told him last night I dreamed he texted me in which he didn't call me 'hani' anymore, but call me 'Frita'. He said that it will eventually come true, he just needs some time to stop calling me 'hani'. He said that it was a long 5 months of awaiting. His heart ached each day in its constant longing for me, while I talked about the other guy to him... so mean in his opinion.
Maybe I am mean
He sent me a poem which he wrote by himself. There he expressed how the past moments and journey we shared together was a treasure for him. However, when we reached the end of the journey, I betrayed him by leaving him for another guy without even considering his feelings. He implicitly conveyed that I was not sincere. He said goodbye.
Maybe I am not sincere
He told me that it was the last time he wrote something for me with heart, it will never be happened again. He will forget everything.
Maybe I don't deserve anything from his heart
One thing I know, I don't like the way he accused me for being a betrayer, mean, and insincere. Once he told me that he wants to find a way back to my heart... this surely is not the way. I will never be able to fall in love for someone who keeps so much anger, hatred, and pains toward me. How will I be able to fall in to his arm while I'm afraid that there's a sharp blade behind it?
He is the one I know very well, I sometime considered to take the chance of letting him make me fall in love with him again. But maybe it doesn't matter anymore, he might never try to make me fall in love with him again... he said goodbye.
Maybe goodbye is the best for us