Be Strong My Heart

I really couldn't sleep well last night because I woke up many times in the middle of the night and the pain got more real everytime also. I don't know who to tell this to. Despite knowing how much they love me, I obviously can't tell my parents because they will be sad thinking that their daughter has gone mad. Despite being her only sibling, I obviously can't tell my sister because she has warned me that online relationship will never work. Despite being the girl who he loves so much, I obviously can't tell my ex boyfriend because it will cause him pain knowing that I fell for another guy and got hurt by that. I only have one place to relieve all my burden... I have my God only. I know it is Him who want this to happen to me, but I don't blame Him for the pains I got... He must has planned something beyond my logic. I just need to trust Him.

I tried to be his friend, to be his sister. I thought it won't be this painful hearing him talking about the other girl, I thought I can handle it. I, strangely, do not know how weak my heart is.. I have put it on the sleeves, exposing it to the world, and hoped that it wont get hurt. I totally wrong, it pains so much that I keep saying to myself to be strong. It pains so much.

I told him to give her a chance to know him, I told him to pursue her if he has a feeling for her. I told him not too worry about the future and just let it flow with her. I even encouraged him to ask God to decide for him. It wasn't a fake advice, I want to see him happy. I might don't know how hard times went by on his side of the world, but I'm sure he has waited for so long and he deserves to be happy... I'm just feeling sad that I won't be there to be happy with him because it pains so much. I'm not your wonder woman who can take all the pains of caring for you. My heart can break and tear apart.

Be strong my heart...

Because it pains so much...