Monday, June 23, 2008

Azeem, the best I ever had

This is a story about the guy who I loved so much...
I met him from the internet, no actually he was the one who found me. His name is Azeem Muhammad Shamsuddin. I had several talks with him and felt a lot attraction to him... and yes I fell in love with this person straight away. It was not more than 1 months since I knew him, and even though I never met him in person, I was couldn't able to hold back my feelings for him. So I took all the courage inside myself to write him an email in which I told him about how I feel for him.

Surprisingly, he replied with the best words I could expect. He said that he feels the same way and that he cares about me. That was the happiest moment in my life, I couldn't believe that he replied it in a positive way.
So then things went smoothly for about two months. We talked about future, how can we make it works, and I remember that he said he loves me. He would tell me everything about his activities there, and I would love to listen to him.

But then he withdrew little by little. He was not available anymore, I just didn't have enough time to spend with him. His studies, his friends, his leisures, and everything is more important than me. Until one day, he left to LA for a weekend, and he didn't tell me anything about it. I was panic, tried to contact him by any means, but he didn't reply. When he came back, I asked him where did he go.... he answered plainly just like nothing has been wrong, he said that he went out of city and he didn't check his email. I just couldn't accept this as a reason for not contacting me at all. I told him that I don't think he still care for me and I decided to leave.... he agreed.

It was not easy for me, I couldn't get over him that fast. I tried to talk to him again, it was me who always say Hi to him first. And it was him who say Bye first. Each time I talked to him, my heart got more pain. There was nothing wrong in what he said to me, he was still nice but cold at the same time. My heart broke again each time I tried to reach him.
Last time I said Hi to him.. he didn't reply. So I guess it's time to really let him go. I hope oneday I can smile at him when I see him holding hands with someone else.....

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