Dream Home Interior

What?? I think I heard there's a kind of snail that kills human. Television program nowadays getting more weird than ever.
Anyway, this is how I like my house to be looked like from inside.

Me?

Hmm still doesn't look like me. Anyway I like that it is drawn from my picture.

Look Away

Here is a song lyric by Chicago. I heard the song this morning and it kinda hit me on the heart
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Well, you called me up this morning
Told me 'bout the new love that you found
Said, "I'm happy for you. I'm really happy for you."
Found someone else, I guess I won't be coming 'round
I guess it's over, baby
It's really over, baby,
And from what you're saying
I know you've gotten over me
It'll never be the way it used to be
So if it's gotta be this way
Don't worry, baby, I can take the news okay

But if you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes,
Look away, baby, look away.
If we meet on the street some day, and I don't know what to say,
Look away, baby, look away.
Don't look at me, I don't want you to see me this way.

When we both agreed as lovers
We were better off as friends
That's how it had to be
Yeah, that's how it had to be
I tell you I'm fine, but sometimes I just pretend
Wish you were holding me, wish you were still holding me,
I just never thought
That I would be replaced so soon
I wasn't prepared to hear those words from you
I know I wanted to be free
Yeah, baby this is how we wanted it to be

But if you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes,
Look away, baby, look away.
And if we meet on the street some day, and I don't know what to say,
Look away, baby, look away.
Don't look at me, I don't want you to see me this way.

Well, you called me up this morning
Told me 'bout the new love that you found
I said, "I'm happy for you. I'm really happy for you."

Cant't Cry Hard Enough

This is a song from Williams Brother... hiks hiks I can't cry hard enough for you to hear me now.
----------

I'm gonna live my life
Like everyday's the last
Without a simple goodbye
It all goes by so fast
And now that you're gone
I can't cry hard enough
No I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

Can I open my eyes
And see for the first time
I've let go of you like
A child letting go of his kite

There it goes
Up in the sky
There it goes
Beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
No I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

Can I look back in vain
And see you standing there
With all that remains
Its just an empty chair
And now that you're gone
I can't cry hard enough
No I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

There it goes
Up in the sky
There it goes
Beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
No I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

You Can't Mess With Me

Hi Hi :)
Wonderful morning isn't it? Laughed with the boss on the way to the office. Had a good chat with my clients.. discussed about Netherland. You know what, there aren't many tulips can be seen anywhere in Netherland, you can only see tulips in certain places. Bicycling will be a fun thing to do there since cities in Netherland are not so dense, quiet, and showered with light rain most of the time :)) niceeee weather. Hmm maybe I could go there someday... soon :)

Anyway, thinking back about the heart broken relations I had made me realize that it was my weakness of letting things went out of what I accept as "good" and let them messed with me. Yes, that was really wrong! I shouldn't have ignore my boundaries, I shouldn't have let things turned out ugly for me, I shouldn't have let them messed with me.

I DESERVE the man I WANT. I will not forget my happy ever after.
I'm not going to throw my confidence and self esteem down the toilet again. I will recognize when things go beyond my boundaries, and that time I will not put any energy to make them right. It will be the time I say surely "You can't mess with me"

Me??

Huehehehe after posting the handsome Paul Walker... look at this weird grafitti of me :P Sorry can't help that he didn't draw it properly. I'm still pretty though

Paul Walker

Perfect face :)
Anyway for you who doesn't know him, he starred "Too Fast Too Furious" movie. What??? you don't agree that he is good looking? hehe I won't bother. He deserves to be in my blog!!

Longer

This is a song from David Archuleta, I think he wasn't the original singer but I like his version :) Ooh i just googled it and found out that the original singer was Dan Fogelberg.
Been singing this song a lot lately... in the bathroom, at work, and on the way home
----------

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

I'll bring fire in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you..

Waiting For Him

12.19 pm and I haven't joined my colleagues for lunch. I prefer to sit here, listening music, and write this down. I sent him an email this morning since I couldn't bear to stay away from him, I don't have any more strength to keep it cool. I miss him a lot.
I hope after he read that email he will come and talk to me like usual. Here I am waiting.

I've acted very silly last week, told him that I don't want to talk to him... so much untrue!! Please don't leave, please talk to me.
Sometime I wonder if this is what he's been waiting for, the moment that will get him out of my life. There I made a way out for him by saying that I don't want to talk to him. Oh my God it hurts me so much...

"Please show me that this is not what u want, talk to me. Here I am waiting"

8.58pm I'm at home. He didn't show up to talk to me but he replied to my email. I think I should be content with that.

"I'll try my best to not to reach out to u again..."

Somebody's Me

This song by Enrique Iglesias... represents my feelings now
---------

You, do you remember me?
Like I remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?
Because I, I walk the streets alone
I hate being on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And I'm going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breath without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That Somebody's Me

How, How could we go wrong
It was so good and now it's gone
And I pray at night that our paths will soon cross
And what we had isn't lost
Cause you're always right here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breath without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That Somebody's Me

You'll always be in my life
Even if I'm not in your life
Because you're in my memory
You, will you remember me
And before you set me free
Oh listen please

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breath without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That Somebody's Me

Serendipity

This movie showed how two people met through a serial of fate, which we refer as destiny, that somehow seemed like coincidents. You know there's nothing as coincident in this life, everything happens for a reason.
Maybe I've been through those fates which may lead me to my soulmate....

James Blunt

Nice songs he has, good voice, awesome lyric like these lines

Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you

Sometime it's hard to believe you remember me

--- GOODBYE MY LOVER ---
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blind and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Would He Be The One For Me?

I want him to be the one for me, but does he want it too?

I met him on June, he filled my days with laughters and healed my broken heart after Azeem left. He would come to talk to me everyday and I couldnt wait those time when he showed up. I smiled, I felt safe, I felt content in his presence. He is funny, smart, caring, he shared many of my views, and he loves God as much as I do.

Things were wonderful until oneday he fell for a woman. He told me that he has been thinking about this woman a lot, not knowing what to do. Despite my broken hearted, I encouraged him to pursue her. Unfortunately for him things didnt go well, she refused him. I was sad when he said 'I kept my phone close to me for three consecutive days, hoping to hear from her'. So much I wanted to tell him, 'Didnt you know that I have been waiting for you everyday?'

I never got him out of my heart although I knew he had chose another woman. I tried to not to depend on him too much, I started to talk to some other men. It wasn't a great experience for me because I couldn't stop thinking about him. Those were camouflages so that I wouldn't reach out to him when I was lonely, when he wasnt there. So much I wanted to tell him 'I need you!'

From everyday, it became twice a week, then once in two weeks. He seems to try to fade away from my sight. I didnt get much chance to talk to him anymore but still everyday I waited for him to come. It hurts knowing that he's drifting away from me. So much I wanted to tell him 'please stay'.

Fragile

Those Who Has Come And Gone

It's 6.24pm and I'm still at the office. No plan to hang out with the friends and that makes me recall some of the recent heartbreaking moments :(
My birthday this year at 19 February had brought many unexpected stories in to my life. Stories that once made me feel very happy but then also made me very sad.

I flew to Surabaya on March to meet my boyfriend and tell him that I'm falling for another guy. He was devastated to hear that, but he let me choose which decision to take.. to leave or to stay. I chose to leave him. I can't be with him while my heart is with someone else. After the break up he tried to get me back, he said it will take long time to get over me as he really cares about me. He said that he wants to change to suit my preference, he wants to make me happy. This had been going on for 7 months until in November he told me that he has found another girl who made him feel whole again. He described to me how does his feelings toward her like. He wants to take care of her always. He doesn't want to be away from her. When he's with her, the only thing he wants to see is her smile. He cries thinking that he cant give the best for her. Both of them know what each other needs before anyone says anything. And when he asked her 'why do u love me?', she couldn't answer. Neither did him when she asked the same thing. It seems it's not that hard to get over me, he is happy with his girl now.

And this is some guys who have come into my life after the break up. First, I met Azeem on February, not long after my birthday. He is very handsome, nice, polite and intelligent. I felt like I have found my One when he said he loves me. However, when he was born 26 years ago, God didn't destine him to be my One. He left on April and now engaged to a beautiful girl. They look very happy and match well together. So she must be the One for him.

Second, I met Ahmed on early September. That was during the Ramadhan month when I started talking to him. He said he want to have a long term relationship and started to plan to get married with me. He said he will come on January09 to propose me and tell my parents about his plan. We tried to find the best solution for both parties but we faced dead end. He wouldn't come with his parents and if that is the case then my parents wouldn't allow me to marry with him. We stopped talking since last week. I don't know whether he has found another potential wife or not, but I think he has.

Third, I met Thomas on early October. He is a christian and still very young. It was nice to hear when he said he is learning Islam. One day he said that he loves me. I didn't reply to that because I think he didn't really conscious when he said that. Not that he was drunk or something, but it is because that was too early to tell 'I love you' words to me. He hasn't known me for long, and we are not in the same religion. I made up my mind that things never gonna work out with him. He accepted that and now is working things out with a girl from a Muslim family. At least he found someone who lives much closer to him.

For those who have come and gone, I wish you all happiness in your life. And if once you remember me, please pray for my happiness as well.

Who Is He?

Words From Unexperienced Man

This is an advice from a priest, who has never been married and will not get married, about "Whom Not To Marry". Nice advice though :)
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“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends. Since, as the Hebrew Scriptures say, ‘Iron shapes iron and friend shapes friend,’ what are his friends like? What do your friends and family members think of him? Sometimes, your friends can’t render an impartial judgment because they are envious that you are beating them in the race to the altar. Envy beclouds judgment".

“Does he use money responsibly? Is he stingy? Most marriages that founder do so because of money — she’s thrifty, he’s on his 10th credit card".

“Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, who never makes demands counter to yours. It’s good to have a doormat in the home, but not if it’s your husband".

“Is he overly attached to his mother and her mythical apron strings? When he wants to make a decision, say, about where you should go on your honeymoon, he doesn’t consult you, he consults his mother. (I’ve known cases where the mother accompanies the couple on their honeymoon!)"

“Does he have a sense of humor? That covers a multitude of sins. My mother was once asked how she managed to live harmoniously with three men — my father, brother and me. Her answer, delivered with awesome arrogance, was: ‘You simply operate on the assumption that no man matures after the age of 11.’ My father fell about laughing".

“A therapist friend insists that ‘more marriages are killed by silence than by violence.’ The strong, silent type can be charming but ultimately destructive".

“Don’t marry a problem character thinking you will change him. He’s a heavy drinker, or some other kind of addict, but if he marries a good woman, he’ll settle down. People are the same after marriage as before, only more so".

“Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Kay made a monstrous mistake marrying Michael Corleone! Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours? I remember counseling a pious Catholic woman that it might not be prudent to marry a pious Muslim, whose attitude about women was very different. Love trumped prudence; the annulment process was instigated by her six months later".

“Imagine a religious fundamentalist married to an agnostic. One would have to pray that the fundamentalist doesn’t open the Bible and hit the page in which Abraham is willing to obey God and slit his son’s throat".

“Finally: Does he possess those character traits that add up to a good human being — the willingness to forgive, praise, be courteous? Or is he inclined to be a fibber, to fits of rage, to be a control freak, to be envious of you, to be secretive?

“After I regale a group with this talk, the despairing cry goes up: ‘But you’ve eliminated everyone!’ Life is unfair.”

He Says, "If I Have To Marry Once More, I Will Marry You Again"

One night we went to dinner at the food hall of a Plaza in town. We sat at a table located in the middle of the hall. Around us, there were many people eating as well. Then my eyes caught this elegant beautiful woman who crossed in front of our table. I told my husband, "Did you see her? I think she is very adorable". He looked at the way in which that woman went. He said, "ooh that woman? yes she is adorable". I laughed and then commented on his answer, "I think every man will want to be with her". He looked at me in the eyes and replied, "Not every man my sweetheart, if you give me another chance to choose, I will choose you again to get married with me". Awww he is so sweet, he wouldn't want to choose another woman but me to get married with him :)

That is the second quality that this amazing man posses
-- HE IS FAITHFUL --

Under One Umbrella In The Rain

To My Sunshine, I Love You With All My Heart

A nice story of how love keeps burning between the couple through the years and even after death.

----------
Sophie's face faded into the gray winter light of the sitting room. She dozed in the armchair that Joe had bought for her on their fortieth anniversary. The room was warm and quiet. Outside it was snowing lightly.

A florist's truck turned onto Allen Street. Sophie followed it with her eyes. It was moving slowly. Twice it stopped and started again. Then the driver pulled up in front of Mrs. Mason's house next door and parked.Who would be sending Mrs. Mason flowers? Sophie wondered. Her daughter in Wisconsin? Or her brother? No, her brother was very ill. It was probably her daughter. How nice of her.

Flowers made Sophie think of Joe and, for a moment, she let the aching memory fill her. Tomorrow was the fifteenth. Eight months since his death.

The flower mans was knocking at Mrs. Mason's front door. He carried a long white and green box and a clipboard. No one seemed to be answering. Of course! It was Friday - Mrs. Mason quilted at the church on Friday afternoons. the delivery man looked around, then started toward Sophie's house.

"Yes?" she said, peering around a slightly opened door. "Good afternoon, ma'am," the man said loudly. "Would you take a delivery for your neighbor?"

"Yes," Sophie answered, pulling the door wide open. "Where would you like me to put them?" the man asked politely. "In the kitchen, please. On the table." answered Sophie.

The rich smell of roses engulfed her. She closed her eyes and took slower breaths, imagining yellow roses. Joe had always chosen yellow. "To my sunshine," he would say, presenting the extravagant bouquet. He would laugh delightedly, kiss her on the forehead, then take her hands in his and sing to her "You Are My Sunshine."

She dragged a stepstool across the kitchen floor and lifted a white porcelain vase from the top corner cabinet. Using a drinking glass, she filled the vase with water, then tenderly arranged the roses and greens, and carried them into the sitting room.

She was smiling as she reached the middle of the room. She turned slightly and began to dip and twirl in small slow circles. She stepped lightly, gracefully, around the sitting room, into the kitchen, down the hall, back again. She danced till her knees grew weak, and then she dropped into the armchair and slept.

At a quarter past six, Sophie awoke with a start. Someone was knocking on the back door this time. It was Mrs. Mason.

"Hello, Sophie," Mrs. Mason said. "How are you?" Sophie was only half-listening. She had remembered the roses suddenly and was turning hot with shame. The empty flower box was behind her on the kitchen table. What would she say to Mrs. Mason?

Mrs. Mason chattered "I don't know how much longer I can keep paying the bills. If only Alfred, God bless him, had been as careful with money as your Joseph. Joseph! Oh, good heavens! I almost forgot about the roses."
Sophie's cheeks burned. She began to stammer an apology, stepping aside to reveal the empty box.

"Oh, good," Mrs. Mason interrupted. "You put the roses in water. Then you saw the card. I hope it didn't startle your to see Joseph's handwriting. Joseph had asked me to bring you the roses the first year, so I could explain for him. He didn't want to alarm you. His 'Rose Trust,' I think he called it. He arranged it with the florist last Apirl. Such a good man, your Joseph..."

But Sophie had stopped listening. Her heart was pounding as she picked up the small white envelope she had missed earlier. It had been lying beside the flower box all this time. With trembling hands, she removed the card.

"To my sunshine," it said. "I love you with all my heart. Try to be happy when you think of me. Love, Joe."

Lack Of Communication

There was this girl asking to Jeff Mac, a manslator, "Hi Jeff, my relationship is in trouble..".
Jeff answered, "That's it, huh? I think the problem in your relationship is called the lack of communication. You need to open up a lil bit"

I laughed a lot reading that lines :P. It is so funny that she didn't describe anything about the trouble she is facing in the relationship. What did she expect Jeff to answer?. Anyway, Jeff is a book writer and he has a website where he translates men behavior which confuses women. That's why he is called a Manslator. Thanks Jeff for your Manslation!!

Another thing about 'Lack Of Communication', sometime I found it difficult to express what I want out of a relationship, what I need from him because of fear that I might get rejected by him. Somehow I feel that he might turn down my suggestions, ignore my needs despite him knowing that they are important to me. How to let him know about it?

Do You Believe In Soulmate?

Soul mates do exist. The reason why all people don't have soul mates is because when they're looking for love, they're following a checklist of what they want in someone else. Instead, people should make checklists of what they themselves lack. A soul mate is not your double—it's rather someone who fills in the blanks

A soul mate is someone with whom you never have to prove yourself. There is an instantaneous sense of comfort—you begin to feel comfortable with all of your flaws because this person just accepts you. They still love you for your virtue, but they accept you for your flaws as well.

A soul mate is someone with whom you can be honest. When you are around a soul mate, you feel this instantaneous need to confess—you want to share things that are utterly personal because you're are not afraid that you are going to be thrown out as a result.
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That is from Rabbi Shmuley. I believe in soulmate. One day I and he will meet :)

Money Before Love

Ok here it goes the deal, it used to be love, love, love that people are concerning about. Now it is money, money, money especially when global economy is in a threat of recession. OH NO!!

We have to admit it that one cant think about love if he/she couldn't even pay the rent and survive the life. Sounds so bitter isn't it? But that's the truth. Imagine that you cant afford to pay your bills, rent, buy nice clothes, eat out. Would you ever have a second to think about love? about finding another person to live with you? Hey, you cant be that selfish to take another person, whom you say you love, to live a miserable life with you and to share your headache on those debts. If you're a good hearted lover, you wouldn't want to take your loved one to suffer with you, would you?

Ok, I hope you get my point. One thing that make me loves this amazing man is that --HE IS FINANCIALLY SECURED--

Money is not the most important thing for me, I even never thought about it much. But having him financially secured will give me comfort as we will not need to worry about the expenses of raising kids later, giving presents to our parents and family, helping the unfortunate people, and celebrating our important occasions such as birthday and wedding anniversary :)
It is important that I don't pay the bills or provide for the family. It is his responsibility and he will get his honor on that :)
My amazing husband has a stable job and earns enough to provide our family. I'm proud of him!

The Color I See When I'm Happy

I'm Happily Married :)

I have made up my mind that I will stop this recurring winter, sadness, and loneliness. I want to love myself and believe that I can get what I want, what I deserve :)) I know I have to stop intimidating myself by telling me that I'm not that good to get that good. That was not true, I know I'm that good hehehe. Now let's start this self-love with a new vision of how my future life will be. I will keep it in my mind everyday, and soon it will come true :)

I, Frita Amrita, am happily married with a faithful, fun, passionate, intelligent, generous man who loves me with all his heart and never lets me forget that.

Woow I'm sooo happy. It feels so good to be in the arms of my lover. I love myself when I'm with him. I will have to make sure that I don't forget that I'm married to this amazing man.
You must be wondering what kind of qualities this amazing man has which made me want to be with him forever.... hold your breath! See it on my next post :)

Cold Here

Another Winter

It's night at 8.23pm and here I am thinking of you. Feel like writing my feelings down because I never had the chance to tell you all. It wasn't long ago when summer came to my life with you. Everything was wonderful, you told me about how beautiful the spring that has just passed before summer, how I'll be very happy if I get the chance to see the spring. You gave me hope, you said you'll be there with me to see the next spring. Oh wait, did you say that? or it was just my false interpretations? However, I felt that you'll be there with me until the next spring and I'll be very happy when that day comes.
I forgot that before any spring there'll be winter. I can feel that winter is coming now. I'm waiting for you... it's starting to get cold here. Where are you? in another place which still has spring and summer? It's cold here...
You didnt tell me how should I pass this winter. You didnt tell me that you'll be here with me to get through it. Now I can't blame you for not being here.
I might miss the spring again just like what I did before because I'll be sad for not having you with me. Too sad to see even the most beautiful spring.
I will need a season or two to get over you...
Hope you an everlasting spring and summer wherever you are
Because winter is cold and I don't want you to feel it

If You Don't Have The Heart

This is a song lyric by James Ingram. Represents what a man, who couldn't accept a girl's love, says. Maybe the girl would like to say "If you don't love me, lie to me"
----------

Your face is beaming
You say is ‘cause you’re dreaming
Of how good it’s going to be
You say you’ve been around
And now you’ve finally found
Everything you wanted and need in me

I don’t have the heart to hurt you
It’s the last I want to do
But I don’t have the heart to love you
Not the way you want me to

Inside I’m dying
To see you crying
How can I make you understand
I care about you
So much about you, baby
I’m trying to say this as gently as I can

‘Cause I don’t have the heart to hurt you
It’s the last I want to do
But I don’t have the heart to love you
Not the way you want me to

You’re so trusting and open
Hoping that love will start
But I don’t have the heart, oh, no
I don’t have the heart

I don’t have the heart to hurt you
It’s the last I want to do
But I don’t have the heart to love you
Not the way you want me to

Anyone At All

Here is the lyric of Anyone At All by Carole King. I heard this song after I watched "You've got mail", it was such a beautiful movie :)
I wish I can meet someone who knows me that much, who understands me that much... he could have been anyone at all.

----------

Funny how I feel more myself with you
Than anybody else that I ever knew
I hear it in your voice, see it in your face
You've become the memory I can't erase

You could have been anyone at all
A stranger falling out of the blue
I'm so glad it was you

It wasn't in the plan, not that I could see
Suddenly a miracle came to me
Safe within your arms I can say what's true
Nothing in the world I would keep from you

You could have been anyone at all
An old friend falling out of the blue
I'm so glad it was you

Words can hurt you if you let them
People say them and forget them
Words can promise
Words can lie
But your words make me feel like I can fly

You could have been anyone at all
A net that catches me when I fall
I'm so glad it was you

You could have been anyone at all
An old friend calling out of the blue
I'm so glad it was you

Anyone at all
You could have been anyone at all
Anyone at all
I'm so glad it was you

What Frita Amrita Means

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

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hehehe sounds so perfect! I'm not that perfect, don't get manipulated by that :P

Wedding Gown

aww what a sweet moment :) see how he starred at her, very loving.
I'd like to wear that kind of wedding gown.

You Call It Madness, But I Call It Love

"The great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with." - Paulo Coelho

"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle" - Amy Bloom

"Him that I love, I wish to be free -- even from me" - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"I love thee, I love but thee
With a love that shall not die
Till the sun grows cold,
And the stars grow old..." - Bayard Tailor

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love" - Albert Einstein

"You call it madness, but I call it love" - Don Byas

"Whoso loves, believes the impossible" - Elizabeth Barret Browning

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia -- to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess" - H.L. Mencken

"No one is perfect until you fall in love with them" - Andy Rooney. Just like when Laila being asked by them "why do you love Majnun so much? He is just an ugly poor man", Laila replied, "You have to see him with my eyes"

"If I know what love is, it is because of you" - Herman Hesse

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then" - Katharine Hepburn

"Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important" - Lisa Hoffman. I like it because she said love is irrational :)

"After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her" - Adam's Diary

"To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go" - Mary Oliver. Oh nooo! so sad to let it go when the time comes to let it go hikss

Love is more than just a feeling: it's a process requiring continual attention. Loving well takes laughter, loyalty, and wanting more to be able to say, "I understand" than to hear, "You're right." - Molleen Matsumura

"Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I am beautiful because you love me?" - Oscar Hammerstein II

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death" - Robert Fulghum. What do you think about this sentence?

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life..." - Rose Walker

"I love you
Not only for what you are
But for what I am
When I am with you" - Roy Croft

"Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded.
Someone sober will worry about events going badly.
Let the lover be" - Rumi

"Where there is love, there is pain" - Spanish Proverb

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles" - Willa Cather

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you" - William Arthur Ward

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired" - Robert Frost

"They do not love that do not show their love. The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love" - William Shakespeare

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"I should tell you how I really feel, but I'm afraid of what you might say..."

My Wedding Venue

This is Atas Ombak Villa in Bali. I like the place because it is located next to the sea... so I will get married there

My Wedding Bouquet

My Wedding Ring

An Emerald cut - Aquamarine stone in white gold. Waaa why it is so expensive? You go boy! work a little harder and bring me the ring :P

My Personality Defect

I'm an Emo Kid hahahaha

A Woman At The Sea

Since I Chat Online

I Met My Mr. Right Through Chatting in IRC

by jenny

Here it goes.. a long story, yet I wish some people will be appreciated it. Have you guys ever wonder that you gonna find yourself a mate through internet. I have, i found my mate, a guy who is so sweet, loving, with sense of humour.. he has all the good character of a gentleman.

I went to a cybercafe on that day, and at there I started to chat in MiRC (as it was famous among youngster to make friends). He used the nick 'Mrsingle'. I clicked on him and we chat for a long time. He asked for my phone number and without hesitation, I gave my home phone number, wishing he would call me and talk with me at the phone, later at night. He also asked if I would not mind to meet him.

In my heart, I can felt my heartbeat beating fast and thinking was it okay to meet him? Would he do anything bad on me? I looked over all our chatting conversation..i felt i can trust him ..why not meet him? Sure he won't do anything bad on me. I told him how I looked like and what dress I wore.

He came to me at last to pick me up and I still remember my first impression on him. He looked dark, cute face with dimple on his cheeks. At that time, he wore a jersey in blue color and black pant, not a good way of dressing to date a gal, I said to myself. But never mind... at least he showed up to meet me in person. So I paid my usage of computer, and went with him. He brought me to his workplace and saying sorry that he still have some works to be done and asked if I wouldn't mind to sit and wait for him for few minutes. He treated me some ice-cream and a soda. I watched him working and I found it was so fascinating and nice. He even asked why I keep looking at him and smiled sheepishly at him. I ignored his question and keep flirting him with my eyes and smiles. We talk a lot about our works and life.

After that, we went to his car together. I asked where we are planning to go now and he asked do I mind if he gonna bring me home, and I said okay .On the way, he make the first move, he held my hand and hold it tightly, without letting go. He drove one-handed all the way.

Along the way, I kept looking at him and my heart seems like beating thousands times in a minute. I kept asking myself is he the one that I have keep on waiting. He just kept quiet and drove, we had enjoyed the silence in the car, holdings hands tightly.

When the car going to reach my house, I asked if he would like to bring me around again or maybe to a place before sending me home. I don't want to go home at this time, I told him and he said okay. We went to a dark place, a location where a couple would spend the whole evening there. All these sensations and feelings came out from my heart. I had never felt like this before to a guy, maybe it is what it called love at first sight through cyber.

We dated, keeping contacts and never miss a single day, calling each other through phones. I felt every minutes without him, I would miss him like I haven't seen him for a long time. Now we have dated each other for 2 and a half year and we love each other so much.

I have got myself a Mr. Right through internet-chatting. Every single day and night I am with him. I have never felt like this before. We are planning to get marry at this end of the year, and God bless us that we can be together as husband and wife. I loved him so much and with my whole heart, without him, I would felt like I am losing a soul mate in my life. He is everything that I have ever had, my best friend, my partner, my soul mate and of course my Mr. Right.

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awww... what can I say?

Make Me Fall In Love With You Again

This morning I texted him, asking how he was doing. Then I told him last night I dreamed he texted me in which he didn't call me 'hani' anymore, but call me 'Frita'. He said that it will eventually come true, he just needs some time to stop calling me 'hani'. He said that it was a long 5 months of awaiting. His heart ached each day in its constant longing for me, while I talked about the other guy to him... so mean in his opinion.

Maybe I am mean

He sent me a poem which he wrote by himself. There he expressed how the past moments and journey we shared together was a treasure for him. However, when we reached the end of the journey, I betrayed him by leaving him for another guy without even considering his feelings. He implicitly conveyed that I was not sincere. He said goodbye.

Maybe I am not sincere

He told me that it was the last time he wrote something for me with heart, it will never be happened again. He will forget everything.

Maybe I don't deserve anything from his heart

One thing I know, I don't like the way he accused me for being a betrayer, mean, and insincere. Once he told me that he wants to find a way back to my heart... this surely is not the way. I will never be able to fall in love for someone who keeps so much anger, hatred, and pains toward me. How will I be able to fall in to his arm while I'm afraid that there's a sharp blade behind it?

He is the one I know very well, I sometime considered to take the chance of letting him make me fall in love with him again. But maybe it doesn't matter anymore, he might never try to make me fall in love with him again... he said goodbye.

Maybe goodbye is the best for us

Ladies.. Check This Out!

I found a link on google, it is an e-book in which many heart-warming stories from women are written. Oh hoo they are so sweet... reading it makes me feel like I was taken to the place where the stories were lived. It felt like visiting an old place, seeing those friendly faces, smelling the air, feeling the warm weather, and hearing the chanting of the crowd.

"A Cup of Comfort for Women in Love"

http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&id=OChzblyEFCcC&dq=inspiring+true+love+story&printsec=frontcover&source=web&ots=c85pf44Uta&sig=T_uHZALYk1b5eOHltESyF-e0e8o&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=8&ct=result

By the way, have you been in the beach on the early evening, like at 4-5pm? choose a secluded one, or atleast one which is not really crowded. Watch the waves touch the shore, feel the wind breeze on your face, and hear the sound of the sea through your soul... you're alone, no one else with you, but you enjoy the moment and feel at ease as the sea embraces you. I like to call that kind of feeling as UU

By the way, those are poppy flowers in the picture. I don't know where was it, but the building looks like a Greek's creation. Old shattered things, dreams, or memories can be beautiful in some ways :)

Magic Lines

I like to play this game so much on my spare time. A friend couldn't even cross 20 points hehe. You should try it.

True In My Opinion

There are some ways of thinking that I found very appealing, here are some which I remember

1. Life is unfair

....but there's always something that we can be thankful for.

2. Looks are temporary, characters last a lifetime.

....yet it is hard to fall for the character at the first place. Does it mean I don't have a good character since I prioritize looks at the first place? But there was strong character that captured me badly, despite the less attractive look which covered it.

3. We can't choose our destiny

....every path we crossed and will cross is given by the God. Only God can choose, while we are so powerless.

4. For a couple: she is a lover when he's 30. she is a friend when he's 50. she is a nurse when he's 70

....maybe that's the reason why men look for much younger women to be their partner.

Azeem Is Engaged!!!!!

Frita: assalamualaikum Azeem

Azeem: wailakum asalam frita. how are you?

Frita: i'm good here thx. u?

Azeem: Im good! so busy

Frita: ooh working on homeworks?

Azeem: yes homework. lots of writing

Frita: :) good luck. but u like it so far ?

Azeem: yeah I like LA. ive been keeping busy. i should probably tell you this. so you know, but I recently got engaged actually

Frita: ooh really? with who?

Azeem: especially with our history. I should tell her that. yeaah a girl from out here. we met through a friend

Frita: wow that's fast. i'm surprised

Azeem: yeaah

Frita: but also happy for you :)

Azeem: it all happened really quickly. thank you

Frita: so after engagement.. there should be a marriage

Azeem: yes, not sure when though

Frita: hehe. tell me more about her

Azeem: well shes three years younger than me. a student of architecture

Frita: she's pakistani too?

Azeem: yeah

Frita: that's great

Azeem: urdu speaking pakistani though. so a little different culturally

Frita: have u brought her to meet ur parents?

Azeem: yes. her family came right before I came here and they met my family and everyone got along

Frita: hmm sound so sweet

Azeem: shes really cool though. we get along really well. shes into music and art and things too

Frita: aww just like a fairy tale things

Azeem: she plays the drums in a band

Frita: u and her suddenly meet and fall in love aww

Azeem: yeah its so quick

Frita: hehehe

Azeem: but we're so similar and get along well

Frita: good good

Azeem: so I've been happy with it

Frita: i'm sure u are and i'm really happy to know this news

Azeem: thank you. I guess its been a while for us. so time makes that easier

Frita: hope everything goes well between u two :)

Azeem: thank you. keep me in your dua

Frita: yeah i've handled things pretty well, so i'm fine :) sure i will pray for u

Azeem: thank you. I will keep you in my duas too

Frita: thank you too and dont forget to tell me if u have the wedding date

Azeem: ook prob next summer, maybe beginning of the summer we're thinking

Frita: hmm next may?

Azeem: possibly. we dont have a date yet, we'll figure that out soon. we're having an engagement party on the 30th of this month. my family is all flying out

Frita: that'll be a big occasion

Azeem: yeah that will be exciting

Frita: wish u all the best :)

Azeem: i wish all the best for you too!

Frita: thanks. wow i'm still surprised, things went so fast in ur part of the world

Azeem: yeah well other things too... I decided to drop out of library school

Frita: i will have to catch up soon hehehe

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wow my heart is pounding so fast hahaha, oh my God it is really a news! He must be a very good guy, this way Allah has led him to his soulmate in an unpredictable ways... but fast, easy, and wonderful!!! I wish you all the best Azeem :)

Hehehe I Draw It

Bored reading the test results of me? hehehe ok don't be upset, I drew something for you... see how cute it is! I'll be the smallest fish, and you be the biggest one. So when you chase after me, I can escape by hiding behind the seaweeds or the corals hehe

Knowing My Heart

A very straight forward result. This suits me!

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The Heart on Sleeve - Dependent, Idealistic, Intimate, Explicit

You are the most brazen of hearts, the Heart on Sleeve. You are highly emotional and idealistic, and crave love, but are candid and forthcoming. You are not one to hide your emotions, and couldn't even if you tried. You know what you want from love, and believe in the ideals of love over the sensuality of it. You are all about love in its purest form and aren't afraid to broadcast it or to express your desire for it.

Matches for the Heart on Sleeve:

The Heart of Gold
The Heart of Gold shares your loving qualities, but also values harmony and independence. The Heart of Gold will always be there for you, and you will respect their intimate nature and ability not to be taken aback by your candid and plain nature. You will find they share the same ideals of love that you do, as well as a value of your relationship as a whole.

The Lively Heart
The Lively Heart shares the same ideals of love as you, but is more passionate in expressing it. The Lively Heart is just as forthcoming as you, but independtent enough to not be bothered by it, lessening the clash of personalities. You will find the Lively Heart to be energetic and fun, as well as deep and complex.

What Did My Dreams Reveal About Me?

I took this test after I lost Azeem.. and it seems to know that I was hurt badly

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Losing your Grip 
Your dreams reveals that you may be feeeling powerless, anxious and out of control these days. Maybe you recently lost your job, or perhaps you're struggling with the loss of a loved one. Whatever the case, you may be feeling like a ping pong ball, hit back and forth between problems that you can't influence or control.
Your dreams may be trying to tell you that it's time to make that big decision you've been putting off or that you need to accept that you're going through a tough time. So try to relax and remember that this confusing life phase will eventually pass.